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Jul. 29th, 2008

One of the things I like about being in the service industry is all the people I get to talk to. I meet interesting, funny, smart, and exciting people every day. I also meet stupid, rude, cheap, and dull people as well. Since I took Speech I in the ninth grade and my teacher made a vary valid point I have kept my conversations with strangers away from three topics: religion, politics, and abortion. Besides that it's all good. I'm not the kind of person who offends easy (unless it's Erik) so I've had some pretty out there and not-quite-politically-correct talks with people that get really animated. Tonight I encountered one of those people who makes me think that their parents should have opened the box they kept them in a few more times while raising them.

Three people in their late 40's, two girls and a guy. Me and the guy were talking about attitudes and how positive people work in life as opposed to negative people. I kept talking to them during their meal, checking their drinks, food, whatnot... everything I'm supposed to do. Well, the woman in the middle calls me over and asks to see my arm. I pull up my sleeve and show her the full thing and she asks for an explanation so I give her the story behind it. I have no problem with talking about my tats, if they're there to see then I expect to get asked. It just happens. I've even gotten better about random people touching me. When I'm done she says, "When you got all that done didn't you think about what it would look like when you're my age?" By the tone in her voice I just knew she was one of those people.

I ended up explaining to her that I did think about it and I honestly didn't care. I got them for what they represented and to make me happy. Plus, tattoos only look really crappy if you don't take care of them and yourself. I also pointed out that I'm not the kind of person who cares about my looks. I don't wear make up, most of my clothes comes from clearance and hardly ever matches. When I said the "make up" bit she responds with, "But you're such a pretty girl."


This statement pisses me off a lot. Ok, so you think I'm pretty. Why does me being pretty have anything to do with your views of how you think people should be? The entire time she talked to me she had that condescending "You don't know shit and I feel sorry for you" thing going on. I'm keeping the smile on my face and trying to be friendly, and at this point it took a lot. Then she popped the big one.

"Do you believe in God?"

OH! Really? So, I'm a pretty girl but I'm covered in tattoos so therefore you feel the need to ask me about whether I have faith in God or not? Our conversation up until this point was in no way religious so this was really out of the blue. I typically do one of two things when people ask me this. If they're that type of asshole I tell them no and follow that up with whatever I can think of to make them uncomfortable. I once had a guy leave Winston's (that bar I managed years ago) yelling at me that I wasn't the type of girl he thought I was! This was after he wanted to talk religion and asked me if a friend wanted an abortion would I talk her out of it for, and I quote, "The good of her soul." I think a lot of you know how this topic hits way too close to home for me so I proceeded to tell him anything I could to make him leave. The other thing I do is what I did to this woman and it was only because her two friend were nice as can be, interesting, and the kind of people that I like to randomly talk to. That, and I could see on their face they were not impressed with what she was doing. I told her this was not a topic that I discussed with people.

I know I've talked about God here before and what holds true for me now is what has for years. I believe in God. I know there is a higher power. I just don't think that organized religion is the way to Him. There are people that it works for and I'm happy for them, I'm just not one of those people. I was brought up in the church, I still like going (I like the structure of mass, I find it soothing), but I don't agree with confession and several other things the Catholic church does. Confessing my sins to a priest is not going to make me feel better, the only thing that will absolve me of guilt is me. The only church thing I've gone to in recent years that I actually found a sort of spirituality in was when I went to visit jessicakmalfoy and sat in with her on a prayer session.

Sometimes I wish that Church was the thing for me. But I have too many doubts in my head against Rome to find my comfort there. I pray, I worship in my own way, and I live my life as ethically correct as I can. I don't go out of my way to hurt people, and I don't lie unless I absolutely have to. I know, there is never a reason to lie, but sometimes things are easier to avoid. I say this because I think the only person I really lie to anymore is Erik, and that's mostly by omission of facts.

Don't assume, it makes an ass out of you and me. Yeah, I know ya'll have heard this before but I didn't feel like an ass, just that she was one. And that's where the talk ended, and as luck would have it she paid and tipped..... two dollars.

You know what else I believe in? Karma.



( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 30th, 2008 05:42 pm (UTC)
haha, i love the make up bit.

i completely agree with your church views. i have LOTS of problems with religions that take their organization from man. my theory is that no matter how good that man (or woman) is, they are just as human as the rest of us and make mistakes.

and if you are interested in church, i know our preachers in your area. they are probably having sunday afternoon/ evening services. i'll get you there email in case.
Jul. 30th, 2008 11:31 pm (UTC)
How would they feel about the tats? I know you hide your lip ring so I'm a bit worried.
Jul. 31st, 2008 03:06 am (UTC)
it would be fine. :) no one would care. they would be thrilled you were there. they don't have a lot of people who go to my church in the NO area. i got the preachers phone #s so i'll call them in the morning.
Jul. 31st, 2008 09:22 pm (UTC)
You're pretty... so you should put on make-up!
Aug. 1st, 2008 03:45 am (UTC)
oh hardy har har :P
Jul. 31st, 2008 09:57 pm (UTC)
I am sorry that you had to deal with something like that.
It is hard for even diehard believers to come up with an answer to that question. You don't know exactly how to act. I usually say with my mind, body, heart and soul. And then they ask why.. and ugh it just gets murky.
I would rather just have then believe what they wish to believe, and then come to me if they honestly wanted to be openminded [not that you need to be openminded much, I am a pretty strict catholic/christian female -- though people say that I do act differently and I am not the 'normal' christian because I show more empathy and more understanding.. which I think all christians should be showing. I mean we are far from perfect, who are we to judge?]
Oh goodness I went into a rant. I am sorry. I did not mean to do that.
Aug. 1st, 2008 03:46 am (UTC)
I don't think it's a question you should just ask strangers regardless of what you think their answer would be. I find someone's faith to be an extremely personal thing and it's not something you just up and ask someone you don't even know.

I kinda felt that regardless of whatever answer I give to that question the person asking it will not be satisfied because they already have their mind set on something before they ask me. Make and sense?
Aug. 1st, 2008 03:49 am (UTC)
Makes complete and total sense.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )