I went and tried to do something with my life today to get me out of the service industry before I turn thirty. I enrolled in Massage Therapy school. It's a fifteen month course (could have been nine, but I couldn't do the day classes) and you learn several different styles as well as taking several anatomy class and business/marketing. I apparently qualify for student loans and whatnot for it, so it's paid for. I still want my English degree, and it's still my end goal, but I'm twenty eight and tired of smiling at people and telling them how awesome our muffaletta is.
And why, yes, the 'happy ending' jokes have already started.