I am angry at the things he will never get right, that he will never apologize for, that he will never fix.
I am angry at myself for making excuses for him for so long. For saying things were okay and letting him continue to hurt me even though emotionally I was at the end of my tether and my rope.
I am dissatisfied with the walls I've built around myself that do not let people in, including the people that I know love me for who I am, not what I can be for them.
I hate the way I've closed myself off to the relationships that had potential because I left no room for error or explanation.
Most of all I want to break things because I have never allowed myself to make mistakes and have only taken everything as a failure rather than a learning experience.
I am making this post public because I want to say these things out loud rather than hid behind anything available, like I have for years.