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Jul. 9th, 2012

This crap always comes in phases. Like I'm fine for more than a few months, sometimes almost a year, and then BAM! I'm not sleeping again. It's been going on for almost two weeks, and I don't know how to fix it. I don't like taking pills because I end up worse off and overly groggy the next day. I'm too fixated on my weight right now enough to say I won't do the usual milk punch because I don't want the empty calories. I just want to sleep.

Really, nothing else to report. I'm sure there is, I just am too groggy to think of it.

I'm on Instagram a lot. Mostly because of the Livestrong crew. User name "moltobene". Come find me and play :)
About to leave for Denver to see Anthony! Be back on Tuesday, after I'm 31 :D
At some point I should really do more than just randomly skim entries on here.


Home, health, job, everything is well. My mom is having rotator cuff surgery on Thursday and I'm a little scared. It's kind of a big deal as she has two torn ligaments. I told her I'd be moving in with her basically for a week, which I will be.

Muskrat's last day of school is Wednesday and I can't wait to have more time with him! I was about to not put him in summer camp and be greedy but I know he loves the one he goes to and looks forward to seeing his friends there every year. That doesn't mean I can't keep him out every so often, though. We're supposed to be going to a beach in Alabama in July with two of my friends just to lay around.

Today is the last day of the WSOP (World Series of Poker) at work and THANK GOD! My arms are about to fall off. But, once again, all my bills are paid well into next month and so is rent with money to spare, which is good since I'll be in Denver for my birthday. Remember when I never went anywhere and didn't take time for myself? Yeah, that sucked.

I reached my 25 lbs point. It's nice to be more comfortable in my skin again but I still have 22 lbs to go and I want to lose it gradually, which means I'm going to be stepping up my cals a little, which is good because I miss going out to eat with my friends when they ask. I need to start doing upper body exercises instead of just running. I've kinda be slacking on that because what I do is all upper body but there are segments that I do not use in my profession that I need to tighten up.

There you have it, a short summary. Now I'm going back to sleep until Angela gets here for her "YAY YOU GRADUATED COLLEGE!" massage.

Apr. 21st, 2012

Florida is beautiful! Apparntly its storming in NOLA. Also, got a Galexy Tablet and the screen typing is weird but im too lazy to get up and get my keyboard or properly use any shift keys.

Love yall!

Here's something real

I was talking to jessicakmalfoy the other day and I mentioned I haven't been on any social media thing lately. I've almost abandoned my twitter and FB is purely superficial at this point. I'd like to say it's because I have no time, and that's kinda the truth. I just quit Blue Cliff and my last week was last week but this week I've been working myself into the ground for my other jobs because we leave for Disney Friday night and, hey, I want to leave with BANK.

There's always so much going on in life. I feel like there's not but there really is. This year alone I'm going to Disney for a week, Denver for my birthday, Atlanta for Dragon Con over Labor Day weekend, and Jess is coming in October! Next year I know I will be in Virginia for June 13th because that's when my bro and his woman set the date for. Other than that I haven't planned the next big trip but I want to try to take Muskrat someplace every year and he really wants to go to Dragon Con next year- we'll see.

It's weird, it's like I've finally looked at life. I've always worked my ass off for that time somewhere down the line where I can enjoy it and I finally decided that now is that time. Class is still going well and I got offered a job today massaging at a physical therapist's office. I get to call when we get back to talk availability. I'm leaving Lush at the end of May and I'm thinking about getting a part time job at the Body Shop because I like my little retail on the side work. It keeps me sane.

I'll try to be better. Poke me on FB and tell me to update! Hell, text me too. I just read through the past week, but I haven't commented but know I send hugs to the three in particular who seemed to have needed it.

Now, to sleep before two more days of doubles and then ROAD TRIP!!!

Life as I know it.

Let's see... update, update, update.

I got back on the dieting train. Heavy precise calorie counting, tons of running, and a distinct lack of Frappuccinos in my life leads to me being 13 lbs lighter so far. Yes, so far. I still have 34 lbs left to go.

Disney is in 22 days!!!! Muskrat has never been and I'm super excited. I haven't been since I was his age, maybe 2 years older. We're going with Asshole Ex so I'm being all smilie now while I have to. I'm going to be stuck in another state with him for 8 days, I don't need any drama before we leave.

And the biggest news- I quit Blue Cliff today. It boils down to a few things. They've given me three job titles and no raise. I asked for one three weeks ago and the DoE didn't bother to get back to me. I made sure to give a dead line when I asked, too. Also, I miss doing consistent table massage. I'm turning down work left and right because of some stupid $10 an hour job that stresses me out. I make about $370 every two weeks after taxes there for working four days a week and more than a few times I've been asked to come in on my off day. I have been in my field for a year and I need more experience and I'm not getting it by working there. So I put in my two weeks today. It was all done amicably and I was told I could come back whenever I want. I really like it there but then it because too much for not enough. I already have another job doing outcalls to hotels in the area- and I mean places like the Windsor Court. For what I'm getting paid there all I have to do is three massages a week and that makes up for what I'm missing at Blue Cliff, not to mention that when Joe now calls me to pick up shifts I can (Joe is my boss at the casino/Whole Foods stuff I do).

I've seen The Hunger Games movie twice now. I went with some wonderful peeps to the midnight show and again Wednesday that just passed. So. Very. Awesome. I've also been able to spend a lot more time with my oops_in_the_apt and now that I don't work at BC that will be something I can wing more as well.

It's raining so I can't jog, which means I will Zumba on my Kinect for the first time. I also bought an inverted sit-up bench and now that my tummy is doing the flat thing again (seriously, guys, today is the first time in almost a year I wore a skirt and tank top with any sort of confidence) it's time to tone it up.

If anymore wants to get on my YAY LET'S LOSE WEIGHT train feel free to text me. Right now I'm being kinda obsessive so it's all I'm talking about. Ask poor jessicakmalfoy, she's been subjected to all my diet/exercise/weight texts :/

Have I ever mentioned I love her for putting up with me?
I haven't updated in a while, and I really don't have time to do so now but I'm waiting for an email from the DOE (Director of Education) and there's still a five minute window.

I'm 30. I know I am. I'm ok with this. What's been slapping me in the face more in more is that I don't have a retirement plan. I have nothing set up at all. I have never had a job that does 401Ks or anything. Even the massage therapist thing makes me an independent contractor.

I am missing the perks of corporate america.

On the other hand, I can take vacations whenever I want, I never have to worry about answering to people, and overtime is not an issue.

The immediate benefits over the longer lasting ones.

Time to set up some accounts :/

therapy helps

Let it be known that I am drunk. Today is Muskrat's 10th bday and he is with his day but not me because it is not my day to have him. We all had dinner at Miyako's, which is his fav place right now. It's hibachi.

I am angry at the things he will never get right, that he will never apologize for, that he will never fix.

I am angry at myself for making excuses for him for so long. For saying things were okay and letting him continue to hurt me even though emotionally I was at the end of my tether and my rope.

I am dissatisfied with the walls I've built around myself that do not let people in, including the people that I know love me for who I am, not what I can be for them.

I hate the way I've closed myself off to the relationships that had potential because I left no room for error or explanation.

Most of all I want to break things because I have never allowed myself to make mistakes and have only taken everything as a failure rather than a learning experience.

I am making this post public because I want to say these things out loud rather than hid behind anything available, like I have for years.

Nothing special here.

Dropped Merlin off at the groomer's this morning. Yay for puppy times!

I'm rewatching Lost. I know, I know. All the other shows and movies I am so behind on and I pull a rewatch. The kid is in his room watching season 2 of Supernatural.

I've spent all morning since we got back under the covers. My toes finally get warm right when I gotta get up :/

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I've had a headache since 10a this morning but am now bored.

I hate this.


Us New Orleanians as a whole do not deal well with cold weather.

No, not at all.

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I'm sitting at Whole Foods, bored out my mind. Not a lot of people come here for massages.

For the first time in my life I am reading The Hobbit. Wanna hear something hilarious about me? As dorky as I am with my Harry Potter, Doctor Who, comics and in-general sci-fi love I have never read any Tolkien. Reason being when I was about ten my step father kinda forced The Hobbit on me. At the time I was too young to really read past my current interests, which were horror. I was reading Stephen King and Anne Rice. Little men with furry feet just didn't appeal to me when there were vampires, witches, and zombie animals around. He forced the issue so hard it left a bad taste in my mouth for the series so I never started. Here I am, 20 years later, and loving it. Note to self: don't force things on muskrat. He may not look at them for 20 years.

My mom finally bought her house. It's awesome! In a quiet, safe neighborhood where I can jog again. She's getting a dog, too. I'm really happy for her. I'm also starting to realize its time for me to get off my ass about t things like that. Hopefully in two years I can buy a place of my own.

What else what else? Oh! I'm so excited for the Hunger Games movie! I'm going dressed up fo sho for the midnight show! Yay yay yay!

I got a TA position at Blue Cliff for massage five days a week. I've cut Lush down to once every two weeks and that's just to keep my discount more than anything. I also transferred to another location because of all the back stabbing drama that's been going on but that's for another post- one less public. Needless to say, I miss my Stacy.

Thank Merlin this season of Supernatural isn't sucking the way last season did. I don't think I could have taken any more fucking faeries or dragons. Buying a 46 inch Sony LCD tv and an epically awesome blu ray player that lets me play avi files hasn't hurt, either ;)


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I'm so bad with this! I have internet, but have not been LJing. I got up with the real world. I also signed up for NaNoWriMo so come find me @ MoltoBene.

Got to go, work. TTYL HONEYS!

*single emo tear*

This is post in which I just very simply say that Doctor Who has broken my heart. To pieces.

I started rewatching series 1 last night because I couldn't take the heart ache.


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